FamilyYou think you have everything sorted before you get married. Sure, you’ve made the big decisions, you both agree and are happy with what you’re doing. Then you actually get married and it all changes… somehow. It’s hard to describe, but things just don’t feel the same. One of those things I’m referring to is changing my name…

So initially I thought that hyphenating was the way to go. And there might not even be few that would agree with me, but I quite like the sound of my two surnames combined. That, combined with the fact that I am the last of my kind :)

But then we got married. And now the dynamics have changed, some things slightly, other things a great deal. Now, I feel like by taking Kim’s name, I’m forming a complete union with him in our new family. Suddenly traditions seem that much more important. You have to start considering children and how they will relate to a mother with a different surname to their father (ok, so that’s just plain scary), but still, something to consider.

So basically, I feel like a nameless person. Unable to decide exactly who I am! Some people think a name doesn’t identify you – that it is your personality that identifies you. But I’m inclined to think that it most certainly does identify me (and not in the most obvious sense). It is your family name and that’s the most important thing in the world to me. So that’s my dilemma. Hopefully one I solve sometime really soon!

One Response to “What’s in a name?”
  1. Angelina says:

    The whole idea of changing a name that you have had for 25 years is always going to be huge and daunting! Maybe just lay off a bit – have some time being married. You will be called both Phillipa K and Phillipa H by both strangers and friends who don’t know the situation. See how it feels for a while, and when the time comes where kids will be involved make your big decision then! I was dead against dropping my name – I wanted to hyphenate, but after 6 years, Hales is the norm for me. It’s something that really does just take adjustment (just like the other 283 things that you need to ‘adjust’ to when you get married!!!).